


Void

by SakuraTES



Category: Star Trek Voyager
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-10
Updated: 2016-09-10
Packaged: 2018-08-14 04:25:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 354
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7998547
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SakuraTES/pseuds/SakuraTES
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Doctor talks about deactivation. It's not as simple as many think it is.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Void

**Author's Note:**

> This is horrible, considering it's my first fanfic. Oh well. Weiting in first person is hell.

The void.  
Many people seem to misunderstand me. They don't realize what it's like to be deactivated. Some seem to think it's like going to sleep, which is completely untrue. At least when people sleep they know they'll wake up. I... I never know if I will ever be reactivated again. And when people sleep, they dream. Some may be unpleasant, but at least they see and feel something. The only thing I have is the void.  
Ah, the void. I still am aware of my surroundings even if I am stored away in a package of subroutines. If you can call it a surrounding. There's nothing there but darkness: a place where all of my guilts, griefs, and regrets can fester. But that may be just my perception. After all, the only thing that's actually there is the void.  
The void can be just as welcoming as it is hurtful. I remember back when I was first activated, before I got my personality, I used to consider the void my home. It was the only home I knew. I had been trapped there since my creation, waiting for a moment of existence, then going back to being a bunch of wires and chips somewhere deep inside of the ship.  
But I have adapted, to put it in Seven's words. Voyager is my home now. I have built relationships with many of the crew, and I have a personality (whether people like me or not is out of the question). I am not a nothing anymore; I am a sentient being, granted the rights of all others.  
But the void is still there, constantly reminding me of the old days every time I deactivate. It scares me. Even holograms can share the same primitive emotions that humans do.  
Then again.  
I trust the crew. I know (more like choose to believe) that they will be there when I wake up. Someone will be there for me, even in the most difficult situations.  
I'm starting to have trouble understanding myself again. I'm just a holographic doctor, after all.  
I shouldn't be afraid of the dark.


End file.
